“We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out” Ray Bradbury
Sometimes beauty is more about the unseen
Beauty: a combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, especially the sight.
This is the current definition of beauty. And while each has our own definition of what beauty is, I believe beauty exists as a sincere inner quality designed and crafted from one’s character and has nothing to do with physically pleasing qualities that will inevitably fade into obscurity over time.
Just like a pearl begins its early beginning as a grain of sand slipping into the oyster only to transform into something endearingly different, beauty is so similar.
Unfortunately, advertisements, media, fashion and the cosmetic industries have major influence in shaping our beliefs of beauty, with external beauty having a designated front seat of importance in our culture. Because of this, many girls and boys today are given an early disillusioned dose of what beauty is and what it should look like through a lens of objectification of young women and men that just accidently hit a genetic lottery and were born with society’s coveted features.
Now done get me wrong, I love fashion, style, and beauty of all sorts and can appreciate another’s physical beauty, but over time I now understand that inner beauty, the most important kind of beauty, takes effort, dedication, time and work.
The subject of beauty has provoked much in me about this delicate topic and how each of us choose to define it. I don’t believe people should spend less time on their physical beauty or self-care, but I do believe it should be balanced with spending equal amount of time practicing values and virtues needed to develop a strong solid character. Because, after all, it’s our inner beauty that provides the strength and resilience to do what is not expected but required to achieve our life’s purpose.
So, what are some things people can do to nourish their inner beauty?
Have a purpose
A purpose is an intentional and meaningful pursuit. Having a purpose is to first believe you have a purpose. Having no purpose feeds into neediness and approval seeking. There is nothing more unattractive than someone who has no purpose or direction in life.
On the flip side, there’s something quite attractive and beautiful about someone who is pursuing their purpose. They are not needy or rely on others.
Beauty’s natural default is cleverly designed to grow and mature but only if we put the work into it.
She has not been dormant, she is deep in there waiting to be shown by doing things that spark your heart by doing things you love to do. Beauty only emerges after you nurture it.
Create a to be list
Have you ever thought of creating a to be list? Unlike the typical to do list, a to be list is about one’s character. It is who you want to become. It consists of virtues, virtues that develop character, to accomplish your purpose. A virtue is a set of individual moral characteristics that supports a person’s well-being. Values are the goal. Values feeds your purpose but virtues will get you there.
You can have a great purpose and path in life but if you do not have the virtues needed, your purpose will probably fail. Because of this, some people unknowingly surrender, quit, or give in because they lacked the virtues required to accomplish their purpose.
After all, it’s our everyday interactions with others that determine our character and not our accomplishments or awards.
A few examples of a to be list:
- Authentic
- Assertive
- Confident
- Courageous
- Charismatic
- Calm
- Curiosity
- Disciplined
- Empathy
- Integrity
- Self-Reliant
- Self-Actualized
- Tolerant
- Persistent
Of course, this list is an example. There are not rules or numbers to follow. Create a list to be a better you then take one action each day to become more. If confidence is what you want more of, sign up for a local toast makers class or acting class to develop confidence. It does take time and effort but the end results are worth it.
Physical beauty can fascinate and intoxicate…. for better or worse
Depending on who you surround yourself with and whom is around you, physical beauty can elevate your importance and popularity or create unspoken waves of jealously and prejudice. Physical beauty can be a double edge sword.
And while most of us want to be physically beautiful, deep down we all know that real lasting beauty is much more than having the best body, losing weight, being physical fit, physically attractive.
Using physical beauty for approval, acceptance, and attention is poor currency that will leave you bankrupt
Needing to be liked, applauded, or highly rated is a menacing game. Attention, accomplishments and accolades will not determine the quality of your life or make you happier, but who you are as a person, how you communicate, and the impression you leave on others will.
Rethinking and rebranding our beliefs of beauty
By reflecting how we choose to shape our image of beauty and abandon society’s psychological blather on beauty, life becomes easier and less complicated.
By welcoming new ideals of beauty by rethinking our own notions of what beauty is and what it can be is perhaps the most powerful force that could perpetuate and stifle our cultural status quo.
Beauty is about the unapparent, unseen and unnoticeable part of us that can connect with others on a deep level…and that’s the most appealing kind of beauty.
XOXO JC
Images, Nathalie Spehn